The day started uneventfully …smoothly and productively even. Then a conversation triggered a rolling, like an earthquake, that rumbled and culminated in tears and shouting. We’ve all been there.
My shoulders started to hunch and as I headed back to my room, I imagined I was going into those old patterns of guilt, hiding, and defensiveness. The “ehhhh, uhhhh, arrgh” going through my head was a bouncing back and forth of not feeling guilty but wondering if maybe I should, wanting to accept responsibility but not knowing what for, maybe even the ever-popular passive-aggressive poor-me I’ve been known to do.
Interestingly, the work I was heading back to was transcription of Rita Harrison’s latest e-book, “Ascension for Grounded People.” If my impulse was to hide, Kismet …that’s not where the book took me. Both soothing and “Wake Up,” it was just what I needed to manage the blow-up.
Well, no need to rehash the details of the conversation or dissect the beast to find out what sparked the explosion. That would have been my part of my old habit of wanting to “stick the dog’s nose in the pee” or “fix things” …both man-glued responses (which I’ll talk about one of these days).
So instead of retrieving the experience and old files, I’ll leave them wherever they are now and jot down what I did differently instead:
- It wasn’t my fault, and It wasn’t actually anyone’s.
- I allowed the discomfort to wash over me, and then took and gave space and time …without knowing what that would look like.
- I embraced that we were having real conversations, person-to-person, direct, authentic, not always happy-happy. Hiding behind texts and emails and empty “Have a nice day” hasn’t been more satisfying.
Before I sign off, here’s something else to help with finding peace in the noise and chaos of life.
Fighting for Happiness 